Being here is a balm.
The constant rumble of waves against the shore, the wind blowing through the room from the doors thrown wide open to the sea, the light reflecting on the ocean with brilliant intensity.
It soothes me.
I didn’t realize how much I needed stillness, immersion in nature, (or as much as possible from a seaside condo).
It soothes me.
I didn’t realize how much I needed stillness, immersion in nature, (or as much as possible from a seaside condo).
Yesterday we went to Chantli Mar near Puenta Iguana for a lazy beach day. It was a wonderful walking beach and swimming in the ocean with Shay was like a revival of my spirit.
As we were walking with Brisa Rosalia (the dog) down the beach so she could run along the wet sand chasing waves, the sea called to me and I went racing into the surf again.
A few minutes later I am staring up at a very large wave about to crest on top of me. I dive under but it's only about 4ft deep and I get tumbled with the sand for a few seconds before pushing off the bottom and popping up for air.
I am ok.
As we were walking with Brisa Rosalia (the dog) down the beach so she could run along the wet sand chasing waves, the sea called to me and I went racing into the surf again.
A few minutes later I am staring up at a very large wave about to crest on top of me. I dive under but it's only about 4ft deep and I get tumbled with the sand for a few seconds before pushing off the bottom and popping up for air.
I am ok.
I have learned never to turn my back on the ocean and as I look again to the sea I see another wave ready to topple. This wave inspires a quick, passionate prayer and I feel my heart race as adrenaline surges through me.
Once more I am being scoured and tumbled inside the wave.
Shay and Teri tell me later that from the shore they can see my body rise and fall through the wave. I only have a slight second of panic before I find the bottom and push up to grab at air.
I make my way to shore where I fall to the sand, spent but happy.
As we walk back to our beach chairs under our umbrella I remind myself not to test my physical limits .
Once more I am being scoured and tumbled inside the wave.
Shay and Teri tell me later that from the shore they can see my body rise and fall through the wave. I only have a slight second of panic before I find the bottom and push up to grab at air.
I make my way to shore where I fall to the sand, spent but happy.
As we walk back to our beach chairs under our umbrella I remind myself not to test my physical limits .
That call though, that I’ve heard many times before, is I think, the same pull to live on a boat and sail.
To be a part of the natural world.
The same desire to put on a backpack and disapear into the mountains.
To turn away from society and embrace living simply with nature.
Maybe this is what I am wanting from this cruising journey?
To learn to live without, so that the empty spaces are filled with connection to the ocean, or the trees, and their sounds and sights and colors.
Is it conincidence that I am most fullfilled when on the water?
When I step on a boat I feel that I am finally myself.
When I am in the middle of the mountains, or paddling across a lake my senses seem to expand and I feel soothed and alive.
I can breathe deeper, and literally feel anxiousness sluff from my body.
To be a part of the natural world.
The same desire to put on a backpack and disapear into the mountains.
To turn away from society and embrace living simply with nature.
Maybe this is what I am wanting from this cruising journey?
To learn to live without, so that the empty spaces are filled with connection to the ocean, or the trees, and their sounds and sights and colors.
Is it conincidence that I am most fullfilled when on the water?
When I step on a boat I feel that I am finally myself.
When I am in the middle of the mountains, or paddling across a lake my senses seem to expand and I feel soothed and alive.
I can breathe deeper, and literally feel anxiousness sluff from my body.
Wanting total immersion, but respecting my body’s limitations is at times a challenge for me. Swimming too far out of the bay, sailing on the edge of what is safe, choosing to enjoy the moment sometimes holds a very real danger.
The time I got caught in the current when I was following a turtle in Solomon Bay, or when we couldn’t get a weather report and kept sailing north right into the storm, or yesterday when I went jumping into the ocean with the waves crashing overhead.
The time I got caught in the current when I was following a turtle in Solomon Bay, or when we couldn’t get a weather report and kept sailing north right into the storm, or yesterday when I went jumping into the ocean with the waves crashing overhead.
It's the desire to live fully, follow my bliss, that pulls at my soul; trying to catch a feeling of wildness, an impulse to connect with myself through nature.
There are a handful of indelible moments in my life, seconds sometimes, when the light is just right, or a breeze seems to be whispering in my ear, when the stillness of a moonlit night is more than it seems.
That if I just listened hard enough, or held still enough that I could hear the message, the answer to my unasked questions.I sometimes feel like I am on the verge of knowing some ancient secret.
If I only understood the language of trees, the pattern of rain, the depth of a blue sea, I could slip inside the moment and be one with the universe.
That if I just listened hard enough, or held still enough that I could hear the message, the answer to my unasked questions.I sometimes feel like I am on the verge of knowing some ancient secret.
If I only understood the language of trees, the pattern of rain, the depth of a blue sea, I could slip inside the moment and be one with the universe.
And then its gone. I am left watching the sway of a branch, or the dance of a wave wondering if I will ever enter that magic place.
And so I walk out to meet the ocean waves, I follow the turtle into the deep blue. I merge my physical being, and sometimes experience an ecstatic moment.
But then the storm arrives, the current grabs, and I am human and breakable, and trembling with fear.
So perhaps this journey is a quest for magic places, immersion, or simply stillness.
What would happen if I had months or years, to gaze at the ocean, to swim in blue, to surround myself with green and wind and light?
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